My cousin Candida is very interested in family history, but has one pet peeve - she hates the term ‘removed’. It’s common to have her chime in, “stop removing people!” when discussing how we are first cousins, once removed.

So what’s up with the ‘removed’ business? Determining relationships is easy when you are both members of the same generation. It’s trickier when you are on different generational tiers.

Let’s use Candida (person 2) and me (person 1) as an example. Track back to the closest ancestor you have in common. In our case, Volney is our closest common ancestor. While we are both his direct descendants, Volney was Candida’s grandfather and my great grandfather. That generational half step makes us first cousins once removed.

While we are on the topic of generations, it was common to think of each generation being about 20 years apart. However, that number is arbitrary and has increased as marriages and parenthood timelines have changed. Make sure you have solid evidence before speculating how family members are connected on your tree. In our case, it would be easy to assume that Candida and I are in the same generation based solely on our ages.

You can download my Family Relationship Chart to help understand your family connections. Just don’t tell Candida if anyone is ‘removed’.

This time I have two bonus questions for you. Question #1, how are Candida’s son and I related? Question #2, what is the relationship between her children and mine? Let me know your answers below.